The latest display of men’s capacity for sheer ignorant arrogance has come in the form of an article by Dan Bacon of The Modern Man, in which he gives pointers to dudes on how to talk to women wearing headphones. An unnecessarily in-depth piece, it has gained notoriety on social media for its “disregard for personal space” and “downright fucking creepiness”. The problem, I feel, is that a lot of these flirtation guides are penned by men who almost certainly have zero success using their own tactics. Thus, I feel it is my duty as a sexually active woman to educate those on the elusive female brain and all of its intricacies. I’ve very handily broken it down for you in a much more condensed version of the Modern Man’s article, for maximum efficiency.
WHAT TO DO TO GET HER ATTENTION
1. Leave her alone
WHAT TO SAY WHEN SHE TAKES OFF HER HEADPHONES
1. She won’t do that, because if she wanted human interaction she wouldn’t be wearing headphones
COMMON MISTAKES GUYS MAKE WHEN APPROACHING WOMEN WHO ARE WEARING HEADPHONES
1. Approaching women who are wearing headphones
MOST WOMEN ARE OPEN TO BEING APPROACHED (SOURCE UNKNOWN)
1. Not women wearing headphones, though
HOW TO TALK TO WOMEN WHO ARE WEARING HEADPHONES: THE SECRET
1. Just don’t fucking do it you weirdo
I hope this helps all of you who, upon seeing an attractive woman wearing headphones, struggle with the incredibly difficult question of whether the fact that she is specifically ignoring real-world stimuli is an indicator of whether she wants to talk to a stranger or not.